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Semua pasti akan tertulis , suatu hari nanti .. cuma , udahlah .sekarang  fokus aja ke UN , dan penelitian . Aku pasti akan mendoakanmu , selalu .. Meskipun aku sering telat dalam banyak hal , tapi untuk masalah ini ..Aku harus jauh lebih dulu ..Kalo suruh ngomong sekarang itu useless , dan aku pasti nggak akan pernah sanggup , karna pasti itu memperburuk keadaan aja .lagian hubungan anak SMA itu sangat rentan . Sebenernya itu juga terlihat samar-samar , Apa kamu menyukaiku juga ,.. tapi ngga tau kenapa , aku merasa diperlakukan berbeda aja ,meskipun jarang banget yang namanya komunikasi , sialnya itu mungkin hanya perasaanku aja yang keliru  ..Udahlah .....Aku lebih baik mempersiapkan diri .  sekarang  aku bisa apa ? cuman anak SMA kelas 3 , nggapunya apa2 untuk diperdebatkan ..Tapi insyaalah 3-5 tahun lagi ...ya begitulah .Tapi jika 3-5 taun itu kamu mungkin udah dipinang orang lain .. ya sudahlah . itu mungkin takdirmu  , lagian siapasih aku .. berani-beraninya ..Ini pertama kalinya aku merasakan hal kayak gini .. cinta pertama yang .. terasa membingungkan . Mungkin saat diperkuliahan nanti aku bertemu  banyak wanita yang lebih baik darimu , tapi tetep aja ... Aku tetap mengaggumimu .. Bisakah kamu memberiku kesempatan ?  Aku cuma pingin berusaha yang terbaik dari detik saat aku menulis note ini sampai saat itu tiba .Itu karna kamu salahsatu yang telah mengubah hidupku jauh lebih terasa baik . Bismilahirohmanirohim .. Semua kekuatan adalah milikMu , aku hanyalah hambaMu yang lemah . Kau lebih tau apa yang akan terjadi .. ya Allah , ijinkan aku mengubah Takdir , amin .

Once in a while.You are in my mind .I think about the days that we had .And i dream that these would all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more
You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
my first love
Once in awhile
Your are in my dreams
I can feel the your warm embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don't say no
Now and forever you are still the one
In my heart
So true, I believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
You will always gonna be the one

Tuesday at 06.30 AM when cold air through my self here

I feel unusual thing indeed . Feeling really want to move forward , maybe because of your heart , many experiences with you always deep in tought . Now I have to take a lecture ownself … today my sepupu called aunt ‘ doughetrs and a grandma has visited house , Altought this is not so vast , but really enjoy life here …My house had covered bevore , so the front past has changed decoration ..

                I have to learn English seriously , I would like to go outside this country , I want to feel new air .. looking beautiful architecture , and scenery , actually nature and mount with its forest … I want cycling in japan .. that’s had been my master plan on 2014 … I only have some little time to learning English . My wish had to choosen a right way . God , sori if I delay my praying , sori .. It didn’t order to make you sad , but the environment was so cold , so I did it , sori .. hope that you forgive me .. thanks to forgive my sins , thanks ..  I want to prey for some , I will try . I will decrease my hobbies , actually to watch something wrong ..

 10.30 AM I have come to school myself , There are 3 friends had been being there waiting us to discuss 2 Project , We talk each other and have been forgiving each other … ya , we have celebrated the muslim’s bigest day ,there are a tradition where They forgiving their sins or mistake each human … We wearing muslim clothes . is seems like middle east style . Arabic ….

I’m serious to increase my English skill .. I want a best place ..in my heart , was covered by yours .. I confuse how to confess .Remembering when we are on the same class during 2 years , it is’nt enough to enjoy with you , I will fight with another boys who want same thing like me …

                Hi , “why” is a title of this song , arranged by second hand serenade , this is my feeling to you .. To life during class without you was a trouble , maybe because of my mind that always thingking to you . This is aren’t easy anymore .. why aren’t easy …….. because i ….you are my first love .

                I’m on the sleeping room when write this , with cold air that made by propeller rotating above my body .. Broken heart …Why did you change ? why ? why….? Even meeting , when we walk , we often see each eyes .. seriously .. This is aren’t easy to be forgotten.. embrasing to write this , don’t me ? please don’t force  my self to hard .. … make your heart smile is enought for me ..

I*** , why you have changed ?....

00.50 PM .. Never see you again , no imagine . your favorite song , I don’t know , I don’t know what your hobbies , favorit foods , activities , type , character is … I’m a student who has been waiting you until now .. what’s your name ? oh shit , that cannot change anything .. when we talk something you always on serious face , don’t you feel it ?angry , or anything that you will did yourself ..Hearing what my friends said about you make me down .. down . do .. wn .-

                My first love will come to me , won’t her ? I know , I know it won’t .. but I believe a feeling.. heart to heart . now I being confused with yours .. ah ,wtf .. ar..

What’s going on my mind , I just connect to my hands , so that it works as usual .. push keyboard and write my feeling … Are you talking to me .. you are a litle young white perfect girl in my mind .. don’t you see my feeling in your heart ? This because my frustration feeling .. felling inside and sign in this PC …

                 Check my readiness , hapinees . is it fine , allright .. I want you to see my different character after we go toward this holiday .. this is holiday , I’m very sad and so many mind about you , I miss you , I suffer a thing . become trouble in me . have watched Korean drama increase my feeling about you , it seem to you , don’t you think .. in acquintant with you on first and second grade so shy .. I shy with my activities . I’m stupid before , ..

                                My friend have told me how your feeling about me was , he said that you like me , but “ no I don’t , its just a friend , no more “ SHIT .. I’m liar ,I deceive my self … I want to said that , but I shy , so asshame , felling that we aren’t match and fair .. This is the trouble …..

13.33 pm  I write for 3^rd ,

Remember , when I repair your propeller stick . that is one of my happiness  , I find your propeller outside the class , that’s above the chair .. I get it and repair with high spirit , so hot with soljer  .. the day after , I bring it back to your bag without presmission , because …because I shy , and I didn’t want to be a hero to you . I believe that someday , you will know how much I love you ... do you know ? when is the last , hoping that you realize that it was my treatment , won’t you think that it was me ? ….

                Hi , my first love .. here is realy difficult to forget you .. this less my energy . I have to work through now .. I promise you won’t regret if you are with me , until the day after tomorrow …

18.00 PM .. why I did it for 4^th -- ?

Oke this is enough today , recently I did wrong … when I thinking girls who have beauty , sexy, no doubt I ……shit . what is on my mind , recall medical officer it don’t change anything .. so I decide to repair myself with my believing on you  , that’s enought , we can say “ the power of love “ .. you know ,I …. Suffer yours . Is this the end of my feeling ………

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